Monday, September 24, 2012

A Jenn Adventure: Isn't That Somethin'

Instead of writing this blog post, I should be reading.  I’m still pretty far behind in my studies and The Boss is down for a nap.  But I finally know what I want to say… for weeks I’ve been thinking about this entry.  Trying to decide exactly what I wanted to convey and I couldn’t focus my thoughts.  I think my heart was too raw.  And though I am still sad and I am still hurting… I know what I need to say.

“Isn’t that somethin’.”  GDaddy used to say that all the time.  “Baby, how’s the weather in Austin?” he’d ask.  “Well, Granddaddy, it’s rained for 24 hours straight!”  “Well, I’ll be.  Isn’t that somethin’.”  I’ll tell you what… he was somethin’.

My grandfather, Eugean Freeman, was an incredible man.  He was kind and caring.  He had the best laugh and his smiles were infectious.  He loved his family so much that it was impossible to process how big he made your heart feel.  He was patient and smart.  He never got angry or said a cross word to the kids, even when he probably should have.  His way of talking to us was very matter fact in those instances.  He loved animals and sweets.  He never met a stranger.   Everyone was always welcome in his presence.   He was fun.

I owe so much of who I am to my grandfather.  In the past 6 or 7 years, my friends and family have repeatedly pointed out to me how patient I am.  How patient I am with animals, people, and life in general.  There is no doubt in my mind I learned this from Granddaddy (and that it was reinforced by my father, Grandaddy’s middle child).  GDaddy was always so patient with everyone and everything.  

My most cherished memories with my grandfather are the Saturday and Sunday mornings we spent together.  I’m not sure how old I was when I first started tagging along on his morning farm routine.  I was young, though.  I was old enough to fix myself a bowl of cereal and make coffee for my parents, though I had to use a chair to climb on top of the counter to reach the coffee.  I would wake up early, way before the rest of my household.  I would put on a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt, sneak into the kitchen for a small bowl of cereal, make coffee for my parents, and then ease out the front door.  I would sit on the front porch steps, if it was warm enough, and wait.  When I saw that black and grey truck cross the bridge on the highway, I would start walking to the gate to meet him.  At first, I wasn’t big enough to open the gate into our family’s land.  It was incredibly heavy, but I would help him open the gate and hop in the truck with him.  Usually the cows were close by so they were our first stop.  If I could get out of the truck fast enough, I was in the back getting the can of cubes for the bull.  I would hand them over to Granddaddy and he would feed Jack/Jill/Punkin whoever our bull was at the time.  (Yes, the bulls all had names and 95% of the time it was a girl’s name.  I have no idea why…)  Back when we leased a little extra land next to ours, we would make a round through there, just to check up on everything.  Next we went to “the pen” (our corral area) to feed and water any cows we had penned up.  We walked the fences and made sure everything was alright, checked all the gates, and rubbed the cows’ noses.  After that, it was the pond.  We would cross the creek and he would stop the truck, “See any snakes??”  “No sir!” and off we went.  At the pond, we fed the catfish and the ducks.  Checked the flat bottom boat and made sure everything was where it was supposed to be.  Then it was time to head to the Pinkston.  We’d cross the creek and make another quick snake check (what happened if there was a snake?  Bad snakes = shooting practice.) and off we’d go out the front gate and down the road to some leased property where we had another herd of cows.  We’d make a quick round through the land and then head back to my house.  He always came inside to say “Good Morning” and have a cup of coffee with my parents.  He wouldn’t stay long cause “mama” would be looking for him.**

Every Saturday and Sunday morning… it was our time together and I loved it.  I cherished every second of it.  This is where I learned to be kind and patient, to be soft and gentle with those around me.  If you slow down and wait, be gentle and easy, the cows will come and let you rub their noses.  The squirrels will eat pecans off your shoes.  The kittens with their silky, soft, fuzzy hair will rub their cheeks on your knees.  Eventually, everyone will meet you with a smile on their face when they see you coming.  Except the ducks.  The ducks… well, they wouldn’t come to anybody but him.  Ever.  

He taught me how to drive.  Before I was tall enough to reach the pedals, he let me sit in his lap and steer the truck sometimes.  And when I was finally tall enough, he let me drive all by myself.  It’s a wonder I didn’t give us whiplash.  I had such a heavy foot and was full of giddy giggles.  This was one of those times I should have gotten in trouble.  Anyone else would have lost patience and quick!  But not Granddaddy… “Remember, baby, you’ve got to be easy.  Slow and easy…” is all he would say.   I remember when I had earned the privilege of driving the morning route.  I met him at the gate one morning, by this time I was strong enough to open it myself, and when I turned to get in the truck he was sitting on the passenger side.  As I climbed in, put the truck in gear, and let my foot off the brake he said, “Remember, baby, slow and easy.”

He left behind the most incredible group of people that I am overwhelmingly proud to call my family.  He married a wonderful woman and together they raised three very sweet and loving children.  Those children taught their children all the lessons they learned from their Daddy (and Mama).  And those children are teaching their children.  My family is very close and we love each other unconditionally.  I’ve always known I had a special family.  Not many people are that close with their aunts and uncles and cousins.  Not many people are blessed with that kind of love or support system.  My sister and I are the only ones, of our “immediate family*”, that live outside of East Texas.  Sometimes, that’s hard on me.  I miss having everyone in one place to eat, talk, and laugh like we did so many times when I was growing up.  

My grandfather’s passing was 120% bittersweet.  Someone I loved and respected the most in the world is no longer here but in the week that followed his passing, I was able to reconnect with family.  I was able to see him live on in each of them.  He was so much of an incredible man and such a huge part of all of our lives that you can’t help but see bits and pieces of him in each of us.  The laughter and love that was shared that week was amazing.  Returning to Austin was the hardest thing I have had to do in a long time.  

Eugean Freeman’s legacy will live on, even though his physical being will not… Be respectful to everyone.  If something bothers you, say your piece and then let it go.  Be kind, caring, and forgiving.  Laugh when something is funny but not at the expense of someone else’s feelings.  Listen to others.  Think about your actions.  Be patient with those around you.  Give more love than you think you will ever receive.    

He was somethin’…


Hook 'Em Horns!

xoxo Granddaddy!  With all of my love,

~jenni

(jennifree)



*Note from Jenn: I realize that the term “immediate family” really means grandparents, parents, and siblings but my aunts, uncles, and cousins were always around us.  There were, are, and always will be my immediate family.

**Note from Jenn: After his funeral, the "immediate family" all came back to my Daddy's house.  My three older cousins and I loaded up in a truck along with their wives and their children.  One of the boys had requested a "tour" because he hadn't been out on that land before.  Unintentionally I think, our tour followed the same route I mentioned above (minus the extra land next door and the Pinkston section - we no longer lease that land).  We laughed and told stories and all of the little kids listened and laughed and shared their memories of Granddaddy.  At one point, I mentioned how the "roads" were gone and Maddi Grace asked what I meant.  I told her how there used to be roads throughout the pastures because Granddaddy made that exact same route twice a day every day.  I told her about our Saturday and Sunday mornings.  At some point, I realized the entire back end of the truck was completely silent and everyone was listening to my story.  Maddi Grace said, "Jennifer, I wish I had been a little girl when you were a little girl and that I could have done that with Granddaddy too.  That sounds like it was fun."  I had to fight back tears... "Maddi Grace, I wish you had been able to do that too.  It was a lot of fun..."  Unintentionally, my cousins and I paid tribute to my grandfather that evening in the most perfect way possible.  It was the perfect way to end that day. 

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

A Jenn Adventure: I. Am. Ridiculous.

It seems there is a running joke in my family that I have become the butt of.  It's actually not a bad joke... it's quite funny and, if I'm being honest, it really does make me smile.. and laugh... at myself.  It appears I have turned into a "professional student".  The joke?  I like to collect pieces of paper with my name on them.  It's funny.  It really is!  It's also very ridiculous.  As I said today on my final day of pastry cooking classes (for now...) "It's ridiculous... I'm ridiculous.  No, really, I'm RIDICULOUS!"


Last month, I received official word that I would be getting an Associate of Applied Science degree in Hospitality Management - Baccalaureate Prep Specialization.  This degree was a complete accident.  I knew I had all the classes for a Hospitality Management certificate but when I met with the department chair and we went over all of the Hospitality degrees it appeared I might have all the classes I need for Bac. Prep AAS.  We just needed to have Admissions review my transcripts from UT.  A couple of weeks later, a letter arrived in the mail.  Complete accident.


During that same meeting, it was brought to my attention that I was 4 classes short of an AAS Hospitatlity Management - Food & Lodging specialization.  Also, all four of those classes were business related: Finance, Legal Issues, etc.  You see where I'm going right?  If my endgame is my own business and all I have left are business classes, why the hell not???


"But what about baking?" you ask.  Oh, I'm getting that too.  I have one class left that I'm taking this summer.  So, in August I'll have a certificate in Pastry Arts.  Hey, I admitted it... I'M RIDICULOUS!  I have been told by The Boss' mom (aka my sister) that I am not allowed to individually frame all three degrees when I'm finished.  I am however, allowed to photocopy all three to a smaller size and frame them in one single frame.  I laughed.  She laughed.  But I'm really going to do that shit.  Why not embrace my ridiculousness?!?  It's funny.


This, sort of, brings me to the "big question".  Am I participating in the graduation ceremony this weekend?  I can't help it... I laugh every time someone asks me this.  And it's not a normal "ha ha" giggly laugh it's that laugh I developed towards the end of my stint of working at the library that would just come out when something was really funny but it was one of those things you weren't supposed to OPENLY laugh at.  Yeah, that sort of snarky "I know I'm not supposed to be laughing at this because that sort of means I'm laughing AT you and not WITH you because you are obviously NOT laughing but I can't help myself and I really don't care anymore so I'm just going to let out this mini 'heh heh' laugh to show you I think this is stupid and I'm laughing at it... in your face".  Awful, I KNOW!  Unfortunately, that laugh has sort of become a part of me now.  I can't stifle it any longer.  Nor do I really want to.  ("Hi everyone... my name is Jenn and I'm bitter and jaded.)  Anyway, that laugh has started involuntarily coming out when anyone asks me about graduation and I feel the need to clarify.


I love graduations.  I really, really, really, sincerely do!  I think they are one of the most awesome things in the whole wide world and people should go to their graduations!  There is not ONE part of a graduation that I think is stupid or that I laugh at!  (Well, maybe the speaker at my School of Information's graduation... people were snoring.  I was bored and in tears the entire time.  And though I was probably, in fact, bored TO tears, I was mainly in tears because I had INSISTED that was the graduation I wanted my entire family to attend.  It was a disaster and the minute it was over with I profusely apologized to everyone who was there to support me... repeatedly... for days... apologized.)  That laugh is totally directed at ME.  Because I am ridiculous.  Really, I'm ridiculous and it seems ridiculous for me to go to a graduation ceremony for a degree I didn't mean to get.  These people worked hard for their degrees and though I worked hard in the classes that got me the degree I'm getting this semester, I didn't really work hard for THIS degree.  It just happened.  So my snarky laugh and reply of, "No, I've had enough graduations, I don't think I need another one." is 172% NOT meant to put down any graduation ceremony.  When I really think about it, I think I feel like this is a special occasion that should be earned and I just don't feel like I've earned the right to walk across that stage.  Also... my ridiculousness is potent enough on it's own.  It does not need to be encouraged and participating in this graduation would probably be like injecting myself with liquid speed.


So, for anyone who witnessed my laugh and remarks and thought, "Huh... she must think she's above this." I do not.  In fact, I think I'm undeserving of participating in this graduation.  A better response would have been for me to laugh and say, "No, this degree was an accident.  I love graduations because they celebrate the hard work you put into an education.  I worked hard but I was working towards something else and this just happened along the way.  It just doesn't seem right for me to participate."


Don't get me wrong though, I am incredibly excited to receive my degree in the mail.  Way excited!  And in August when I finish my Pastry certificate, don't be surprised if I participate in graduation, because that piece of paper I worked damn hard for.  But it definitely won't be something I insist or even invite my family to.  At this point, they've been through enough... ;-)


So, to all of my friends who are graduating this semester... CONGRATS!!!  I am soooo excited and happy for you!!!  You worked hella hard for this day and I hope you enjoy it to the fullest!


xoxo,
jennifree




ps - My group members and I received certificates today in class for making the most money in our class' bake sale.  I literally squealed, "Another piece of paper with my name on it!!!!"  It was mostly for comical effect.  Mostly...

Sunday, January 29, 2012

A Jenn Adventure: The Year of 30

Tonight, the Year of 30 comes to an end.  It seemed only fitting to take a moment to look back on it... It was filled with so much but I think what stands out the most was the amount of love it contained.  I never knew I could be loved nor love as much as I did this year.  


I started the Year of 30 off surrounded by my closest friends.  I literally sat at brunch the morning of my birthday and looked around at all the faces.  I've never felt so lucky in my life.  A girl can only wish for the friends that were sitting at that table.  Can only hope and dream for them... and I have them.  Not just one or two but several.  And every day I am grateful for each and every one of them.  They each bring some sort of joy and happiness to my life.  So much so that I'm always taken aback by it, in a good way.  I'm grateful for each and every one of my friends.  


I didn't think it was possible to experience more love than that until my sister handed me her newborn son in July.  I love that little boy to the moon and back.  I quit my job in September to spend my days hanging out with his sweet face and there's not a single day that goes by that I'm not thrilled I made that decision.  And there's not a single day when I don't appreciate the time I get to spend with him and how much he makes me laugh.  I mean... how can you NOT giggle with this guy around?!?


Is there popcorn for this drive-in movie?



I'm also grateful for the new friends the Year of 30 brought to me.  I don't get to spend as much time with them as I would like but I'm grateful for the friendships that flourished... and sort of out of nowhere!  


Unexpected but incredible... that was my Year of 30.  I hope that in the Year of 31 I can give as much love as I received this year.  I hope everyone close to me knows just how much they mean.  How important they are in my life.  How much I love them.  


I heard the best quote on a TV show tonight, "Be bold-and mighty forces will come to your aid." --William Benjamin Basil King.  Maybe that should be my motto for the Year of 31... If anything, I will love boldly...


xoxo,
~jennifree



Friday, January 6, 2012

A Jenn Adventure: 2011 Christmas Crafts!

I was going to do one final blog before the end of 2011 and it didn't happen.  I started it but then never opened my computer again to finish.  Heh...  such is life.  ;-)

Anyway, here are some bits and pieces from that post.  Mainly, I just wanted to share some crafty stuff I had worked on for Christmas.  So....


For Christmas, my sis asked me to make some hair clips for her nieces.  I didn't post them on Twitter or FB b/c I'm friends with my sister's sis-in-law.  I didn't want to ruin the surprise!  And then... I forgot.  But now, I'm crazy excited about them again so here they are!!!


Grayce




Olive




Eilea











Pretty cute, huh?  I'm so stinkin' proud of those hair clips!  They were a ton of fun to make too.  If you need/want one, let me know!  



Other crafts, I knitted a lot of dish rags for family this year.  Wait, scratch that, I intended to knit a lot for family but really I only made 4.  I still have some I need to make...  I lurve knitting.  I like how I can knit and pay attention to other things at the same time.  As long as I'm not drunk knitting, things turn out great!  ;-)  


And I have no idea what's going on with the spacing of this post!  I think the pictures are wiggin' it out.  ;-)  Happy 2012 Crafting!


xoxo,
~jennifree